Aaaargh! I Don't Know How I Do It

Aaaargh! I don't know how I do it – I really don't! This week has been like an episode of Eastenders. I keep expecting the doof doofs and the spinning map of London. Needless to say I have been on the receiving end of some horrendous arguments and strange conversations in the divorcing household this week. Thank goodness I should be finished by the end of the week.

I arrived last Friday at just after 8am to the sound of breaking glass. I'm serious... I just sort of hovered at the door wondering if it was a good idea to go in. I was thinking “maybe someone is hurt”, but at the same time I was thinking “just walk away and leave them to it”. In the end I decided it was best to try and break things up, as I seemed to be the only person in that house seeing sense.

What a scene of destruction! The contents of the kitchen cupboards seemed to be all over the floor and three doors (the news ones which she didn't want) had holes kicked right through. I knew they were cheap, but it must have taken some welly to get her size 7's through them! All I could think of was the time I spent chiselling the holes for the hinges and how many times the bottoms needed planing.

As I walked through the door he stormed out muttering something like I was welcome to her! I expected her to be in tears or something, but she was as calm as a cucumber and told me she would get the new doors delivered and that she always got her way in the end. The kitchen turned out to be her way of showing him how to empty the dishwasher, as, according to her, he never did it anyway.

Well come Monday, he was gone. It seems that now he is out of her life, she wishes she had done things differently and not driven him into the arms of another woman. This is how she put it to me during one of her many conversations. I pointed out that perhaps she was better off and now she could get on with her life and start again. Honestly if I was a counsellor I'd be better paid.

So the house is on the market from this weekend and I will be out of their lives for good, I hope. So far this week I have worked my socks off to get it finished. The sooner the better. They have had the new doors fitted, new skirtings, a new downstairs loo and sink, touch ups of the painting, new handles in the kitchen and new carpets. All I can say is that the place had better sell, cause I am not going back there!

Next week I am doing a kitchen for my brother. He lives a little way out of town, but you know what it is like with family, you make sacrifices. I am thinking of staying there for a few nights just to get it finished and to save on travel. But we will have to see what the missus has to say about that.

Next week I need to tell you all about the trials and tribulations of an afternoon down at the DIY store (I won't name them...). What do they say about paying people peanuts?